soupandsoup:

mhmlesbian22:

Made my heart melt

I exploded

There’s a HUGE black spider in my bathroom and like my roommate isn’t home to kill it, and I feel like crying. What do I do?!?!

helmetfuck:

goforeverforworseorbetter:

Right.

HAHAHAHHA

So..I went to Wal-mart last night to buy Mayo..

Didin’t even get my Mayo >.< 

sammasterpiece:

Can’t say I’m entirely too sure how these two survive in the world.

Can I just have one person come into my life who will stay for good 

So many people leave me and I can’t handle the pain that comes with it anymore.

I just want one person to follow through on their promise of never leaving me. 

vivalatrench:

mongoose-reflexes:

Trenchatubbies 2

with special guest stars: brett and kevvy

because Kevvy you light up my world like noboooody else

Followed by many, messaged by none.

theuniversestalentscout:

Cole Sprouse everybody.

If Celebrities Voiced A GPS
• Matt Smith: Oh, very good, you did take that left turn just like I told you! Great job.
• Tom Hiddleston: Alright, dear, now- if you can, please take that turn. Oh, you missed it? That's fine. Just make a U-Turn. Bless you.
• Daniel Radcliffe: You tried, and therefore I will not criticize you!
• Darren Criss: Just take that right up there- shit, I fucked that up- LEFT. LEFT. LEFT!
• Benedict Cumberbatch: You're extremely peripatetic, aren't you? I hope our voluble discourse and superlative conversation has alleviated your ennui. Oh fuck, you've missed the turning.
• Misha Collins: turn left. And by left I mean right.
• Jensen Ackles: god, what am I doing with my life-- I SAID LEFT
• Johnny Depp: ehh-err-- I think we should go left.
• Jared Padalecki: Oh my god, you guys, I have this great story to tell you. Okay, so it started with me carrying all this luggage like -- oh crap, go left. Go back and then take a right so you can take the left that you should've taken.
• Martin Freeman: So, at the next opportunity you're going to take a left. I fucking hate left turns, though, d'y'know what I mean? So actually take a right and just make a few more right turns. Who the fuck invented fucking left turns, anyway? Amanda hates them, too. I'd rather walk, really, you know? Oh, wait, stop here, that looks like a good record store.
• David Tennant: turn left right up here. Wait - I meant right. I am so sorry. I am so, so, so sorry. I am so very sorry.

Neil Patrick Harris, David Burtka, and their twins, Gideon and Harper. 

• “Eat” the damn Play-doh cookies.
• Slurp the invisible soup.
• Pretend that they’re not causing grievous bodily harm as they “brush” your hair.
• Always be serious when asked what you’d like for dinner, and never say something silly like rabbit soup. Because they will go get their stuffed one off the bed, put it in your best pot, and fill said pot with water. Then place it on your desk.
• Greet their make believe friends and ask how their day was.
• Always kiss the teddy bear goodnight. It has feelings too.
• Always pretend to die when they shoot you.
• If you are having a fake war with them and you shoot them and they say they can’t die because they are invincible, you don’t shoot them again, because they are invincible.
• Yes, their drawing does look like a butterfly, not a bunch of jumbled up lines.
• Them pounding on the piano is the best thing you have ever heard.